


Prostitutes

by MistyBeethoven



Series: "Yes, I Really Am This Pathetic!" or "How to Say I Love You With a Story" [6]
Category: My Own Private Idaho (1991)
Genre: Abandonment, BBW, Breast Fucking, Breast Play, Cunnilingus, Deepthroating, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, For Adults Only, Large Breasts, Loss of Virginity, Manipulation, Missionary Position, Naked Female Clothed Male, Oral Sex, Overweight, Pain, Past Relationship(s), Pearl Necklace, Penis In Vagina Sex, Prostitution, Regret, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Shakespeare Quotations, Suits, Vaginal Sex, Virginity, Weight Issues, defloration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-22 16:54:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22219270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven
Summary: Years after I paid Scott Favor to sleep with me, and later he eventually turned his back on his friends following his trip to Europe with Mike Waters, I meet him again on the same Oregon street. When I let Favor take me back to his place and we make love, I am left feeling like the prostitute this time becoming angry at myself for being with a man I am severely disappointed with.I soon learn, however, that my disgust of Scott Favor is overshadowed by someone else's hatred for the man:Scott Favor, himself.
Relationships: Carmela/Scott Favor, Mike Waters & Me, Scott Favor & Jack Favor, Scott Favor & Mike Waters, Scott Favor/Me
Series: "Yes, I Really Am This Pathetic!" or "How to Say I Love You With a Story" [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589944
Kudos: 9





	1. Street Corner

**Author's Note:**

> That this is the first explicit piece in this series (although I think my Constantine tale is working up for it too) and that it features Scott Favor and myself when I'm not even particularly fond of Scott is odd. It seemed to call for it though storywise. 
> 
> All I know is that I'll never make love to any Keanu Reeves character outside of fiction so if the story calls for it why not?
> 
> Years ago, I wanted to write a story about a fat girl going to a male prostitute. I guess, this finally brought it to fruition.
> 
> What I tried to do here was find something about Scott that I did like and remind myself that the price he paid for being a dick probably played out more as time went by and in his heart and regret.
> 
> My age does not reflect my own age during the film's release. I was the same age as one Dolores Haze and I didn't want to make it that type of story.
> 
> The lyrics at the start are from one of my favorite songs, "Suicide is Painless." I love those lyrics and the story behind them. You may be more familiar with it as the theme from M*A*S*H.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I bump into Scott Favor on a street corner after the passing of many years.

_**"The sword of time will pierce our skins** _   
_**It doesn't hurt when it begins** _   
_**But as it works its way on in** _   
_**The pain grows stronger** _   
_**Watch it grin..."** _

_**\- Michael B Altman** _

I see him again years later in the same place that I picked him up in what now feels like centuries ago even though it was about nine years. He's older now but still too attractive for his own good. Although there is something at the edges now, some bitterness, and I'm reminded of a song I sang to him once in a bed as we lay together.

As I pass by him, I see that he notices me and the fact that I am ignoring him. I don't see why I shouldn't really. Not after what he did.

So I'm more than a little shocked when he calls out to me.

"Erin!"

If there's any true way to tell the difference between a kind person and a selfish person it lies in the fact that while a selfish person doesn't give a damn about hurting your feelings a kind person will feel bad about even causing pain to a jerk. Knowing what it's like to be ignored, the pain it causes, I can't bring myself to hurt Scott Favor so I just stop my walking, stick my hands in my pockets and wait for him to catch up to me.

"I thought that was you," he says when he reaches me. "Did you lose weight?"

It's the old tricks of an old abandoned trade, or rather an old _hobby_. Tell a client something meant to butter them up and gain their favor. He has a fitting last name, I realize as I look up into his brown eyes. 

"No," I answer. It's the truth. I'm still as fat as I used to be. Not as big as Bob Pigeon had been maybe but pretty close. They always said that Bob and Scott were lovers. Maybe that was how Scott was able to be around me, I think as tears sting my eyes.

"Are you sure?"

I feel myself wanting to fall for it. Addicts are always addicts and he looks too good in a blasted suit. And, truth be told, I think I'm seeing a little more of the Scott that used to be and not the distant creature he became.

"I'm sure," I tell him.

"A limo is coming to pick me up," he informs me, as if he read my mind and he's back to the smooth and professional man he became when he came back from Europe and after his father had died. "Would you like a ride?"

I didn't expect this offer but I never expected to find him back here either. I don't know what I should do. I hate this man, or rather I hate what he became, but I'm tired and my feet hurt. It's also late and I don't like being out late after dark.

I risked that once years ago and look where it got me.

* * *

Women aren't supposed to pay to lose their virginity. That seems like a thing that men aren't afraid to do. They go to a prostitute with a group of their buddies or maybe their dad pays for one. I've heard a few stories but they never involve any girl paying for it. Of course, maybe it's because there are plenty of guys who are more than willing to help a girl lose their maindenhood without being recompensed for the trouble. 

I didn't want one of them though...I wanted Scott Favor. 

I made the mistake of seeing him once after dark on the same street corner where I'd meet him years later. I was out later than I had intended and just wanted to get back home before my mon, sister and grandpa got too worried. Then my eyes fell on a stranger and I hesitated for one cursed moment.

If there is such a thing as love at first sight, and I'd bet my life that there is, that was what I felt for the tall, dark-haired youth working the streets with a group of other boys. He was a few years older than I was but not by much. He met my eyes and I blushed and then looked down. I was forced to pass by him, though, and I heard him give a little whistle and loudly call me cute. I kept on walking but he already had me.

Hanging around the other hustlers he could tell a potential customer and it didn't take long before I had fallen into the trap of my affection and imagination as my thoughts returned to him. I knew what he was, what all the young men there were. I knew it would be fake anything I could ever have with the handsome street hustler I had seen but most relationships seemed to turn out to just be ill fated dreams anyway. 

At least, I knew for sure he didn't really love me and would never stay.

By the time I had saved up a fair amount of cash and returned to the same street corner, my dark-haired crush was nowhere to be seen. Instead, I was approached by another man. He was about my height only a little taller and with sandy hair.

"Looking for something?" this man had asked, and I had known he was hoping I might choose him for an hour of fun.

"Uh...I...I was looking for a guy that is here with you sometimes. Tall, black hair or maybe it was dark brown. Dark eyes. Looks kind of ethnic or exotic...I'm not sure which of those either."

"Scott," the stranger said. "He's out. He may be back but probably not."

"Oh," I stated and had started to walk dejectedly away. 

The young man stopped me by grabbing my fleshy arm. "Look. How much you got."

I told him shyly. He looked impressed. "Come back tomorrow. I'll tell Scott to put everything else on hold. You're different. He likes a change every now and then."

I was about to thank him but...

he suddenly passed out.

* * *

"Mike told me you were looking for me," Scott had said the next night when I had ventured to the same street corner. I'd told my family I'd be at the movies: the latest Disney fairy tale.

So Mike had been the other boy's name, I thought, and asked if he was all right after having fainted.

"He's fine," the object of my daydreams had said with a laugh. "He didn't faint though. He has narcolepsy: he fell asleep."

My eyes probably opened wide in disbelief. Having insomnia, myself, the thought about somebody just falling asleep all of a sudden seemed odd. My expression seemed to brighten Scott's smile further.

"You're cute," he stated.

I blushed and said he didn't have to compliment me; I hadn't even paid him yet.

"Where is the cash?" he asked and I handed it to him. He counted it but didn't look as impressed by it as Mike had. That was my first inkling that Scott was not selling himself just for money.

"So," he said placing the money in the pocket of his black trousers. "You have some place to go? Or a hotel or something."

"It's my first time," I spat out quickly.

"With a hustler?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

"No...my first time ever...at all," I had confessed shyly.

* * *

He brought me to a huge mansion. My jaw dropped as he invited me inside of it and we stepped into a grand foyer. As if immune to its splendor from familiarity, Scott ushered me into a sitting room with a large fireplace and an even larger couch. The curtains looked about as much for a single panel as I had given the hustler.

"My father is away this week," the young man stated. "Might as well take advantage of it."

Looking to the photographs on the mantel, I recognized the man in several of them: Jack Favor, Oregon's Mayor.

"You're the mayor's son?" I asked incredulously as my eyes rested on a photo of Favor with the boy I had just paid $200 to sleep with me.

Scott Favor picked up the picture in its simple frame and tried to emulate his own past self's expression. "Yes," he said placing it back down. 

"Why do you..." I started to ask but he came to me quickly and kissed me passionately as to prevent having to answer it.

It was my first real kiss. I was clumsy at it and couldn't catch my breath. Breaking away, Scott studied me. "Wow," he commented. "You _really_ are innocent, aren't you?"

I looked down in embarrassment but then the man motioned me to the couch. Pushing me down on it with the force of a gentle hand, Scott knelt over me and I notice for the first time that there was a bulge at the front of the black pants which now held the money paid to him. In fear and excitement, I watched as he unzipped and then lowered both them and his underwear to show me his hardened penis.

It was the first one I had ever seen in person besides my father's before my parents' divorce. Discreet was a word my dad had never been familiar with and he rarely covered himself when he was around the house. To tell the truth, I had still been half frightened and fascinated by Scott Favor's erection. How men could walk around with something like that even in its flaccid state always amazed me. And this was something else altogether. It was long, red and swollen, resembling a sea monster of some sort.

To be even more honest, I was even more flattered that he'd managed to get one on my account. Even if that was his stock and trade and he could probably control his cock to do whatever he wanted whenever he needed to.

"Want to touch it?" he asked, looking down fondly at me and noticing my blushing interest.

I nodded because I did. My fingers touched it hesitantly and he laughed. "It's not a snake; it won't bite."

I became a little bolder at his urging, examining the opening and the veins I saw under the reddening flesh which looked sore. I played with the balls under it and liked them too. Turning my attention back to his penis, I wanted to put it in my mouth but I knew that Scott was a hustler and I didn't want to catch anything from him, even though it looked healthy enough. Maybe later if I was sure...

"My turn," he said suddenly after I'd been examining it for a while, noting the first bit of liquid glistening at the tip of the entrance I had been looking at before. "I've never seen a virgin's hole before."

He hopped off of me, returning his trousers to his waist, and started to try to maneuver my legs around. However the couch was giving him more trouble than he had foreseen, my chubby body almost spilling off of it. In frustration, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I know...let's use my old man's room for your defloration...ummm...what's your name again?"

"Erin," I offered not having offered it before and grateful at the chance to make love in an actual _bed_ and not couch.

On the way to his father's bedroom, Scott Favor undressed me and himself an article of clothing at a time, leaving them scattered on the floor like the breadcrumbs which were meant to guide Hansel and Gretel back home. I prayed that his father didn't come home and be the one who followed them and found his son screwing some strange big girl in his bed Seeing my growing shame at my exposed skin and weight, the Mayor's son pushed it aside. 

"I've been with fat women, Erin," he stated reassuringly. "I've been with old women. I've been with..."

"Men," I finished. "Scott, are you..."

"Gay or clean?" he asked. "I'm not the first but I promise you that I _am_ the second. You have my word as the Mayor's son. Dad upheld at least 75% of his campaign promises, after all. A stellar record for a politician. Do you want to see my last medical report? My father paid for it; the best fucking Doctor in Oregon performed it. Only the best for Daddy."

His words were aimed cynically at his father but seemed honest otherwise. I took his hand and let him continue undressing and guiding me on our journey.

By the time we reached a door at the end of a large corridor, we were both only in our underwear. He made a theatrical show of opening the door, revealing a large bedroom with a beautiful bed at its heart. The bed looked an untouched and immaculate thing and it suddenly felt a sin to defile it with my blood.

Sensing my fear, possibly from the look in my eyes or my bated breath, Scott Favor sensuously came and stood behind me. He wrapped his strong naked arms around my equally exposed and large tummy, squeezing me as if I were a soft pillow as he leaned his head into the crook of my neck, rubbing it with his chin.

Smoothly he whispered into my ear, causing my flesh to bump and for me to shudder as I leaned against him. "Virginity, by being once lost may be ten times found; by being ever kept it is ever lost..."

It was Shakespeare; a street hustler was quoting the Bard at me to help ease him in his paid for seduction.

Even though I remained silent, he continued inquiring softly, "Now shall we begin, fair maiden, soon to be one no more?"

I nodded and we walked into the room together; Scott Favor still holding me from behind.


	2. Favored Mansion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Scott Favor takes me back to his mansion, I remember the night long ago when he took my virginity.

I have taken Scott up on his offer of a limo ride home and I find myself instantly regretting it. I feel out of place in the elegant backseat in my years old coat. I also feel the former hustler's eyes rest on me occassionally as he pours himself a drink.

He's trying to be quiet and reserved whereas we used to be able to talk with each other freely despite my inherent shyness. As if all of that money he has makes words less free and weighs down a tongue I am as intimately familiar with as it is with me

"Still have your cycle?" I inquire.

"No, I gave it away before I went to Italy," he states before taking another sip.

I nod. I seem to recall Mike telling me a bit about it now. I also realize that he said "I" and not "we." I begin to wonder if Mike Waters is a bad word to him; an unpleasant reminder of a reckless youth. I wonder if he was spending all the recklessness inside of himself like it was cash for this day when he would finally be so inhibited with actual wealth.

Still, I'd rather see Scott on his motorcycle than trapped inside of this limo.

Trapped.

Not sure why I thought of that word.

Just did.

When the limosine takes us to Scott Favor's opulent manor, I cast him a confused look which he accepts with no change of his blank expression. He simply looks down at the ice remaining in his glass and I know that he's half expecting me to get angry at him for not taking me home like I wanted to. I feel half to blame for it, though, and remain silent. I should have made sure he was telling the driver my address and not just mumbling something completely unconnected.

I don't know what to say when the limo stops and Scott basically drags me out of the backseat. In the foyer he takes my coat off and hands it to what I assume is a servant of some type.

Other than that, I feel like it's nine years ago, a feeling strengthened when he brings me to the same drawing room. It's changed a bit but is still recognizable. The curtains are different but the couch, I know: it is the one where Scott Favor first attempted to see what a virgin looked like.

"My father is away this week," Scott says in emulation of the past. "Infact, he's away _every_ week now."

He's looking at me now in that old Scott Favor way. His self possessed repose has been discarded and I feel like I'm in danger of some kind. Especially my heart.

"What about your wife?" 

"Carmela?" he says and it is almost like he is spitting the word out like a food he chewed on for a bit and then lost the taste for. "She went back to Italy a few months back. Said that I was no longer the man she had fallen in love with."

" _So_ ," I thought to myself. " _It was the other way around: she had lost her hunger for Scott Favor._ "

I don't dare say that out loud. All I do is ask if he ever gets lonely in this large mansion of his.

"There's always somebody who's willing to come over when you have money," he comments.

I can't tell if he's talking about prostitutes or simply the crowd that will always gather around somebody whose pockets are as full as their bank account. It was said, perhaps, best in "God bless the Child."

_"Money you have lots of friends crowding around your door,_

_When it stops and the spending ends, they don't come round anymore."_

I suddenly realize that maybe he is including me in that pitiful group of friends and I look at him in fear and sympathy. "I'm not here for your money, Scott."

"I know," he replies sincerely. "You were the one who always paid me."

He comes towards me then and grabs my upper arms, bending his head to kiss me. I kiss him back because I want to. Even if I hate myself for it, I have been aching for this jerk to kiss me ever since I got into his limosine. He's married, I know and curse myself for it but she's a million miles away and this house is a time machine: one where I had given myself away for the first time.

Before I know it we're on the same couch and Scott is kneeling over me again, making the whole event even more like the past, he undoes his belt and zipper and pulls his penis out, once again hard.

"Want to touch it?" he asks.

"Yes," I murmur and let my hands begin to play with it. I'm more skillful than I was that first time. Scott taught me how to be.

I momentarily turn my attention to his balls which I have always loved. I touch them and nestle my head into them, brushing them against my cheek.

Scott closes his eyes and leans his head back and I return to running my hands up and down his length, slowly and then faster. By the time there is precome glistening at its tip, I place the needful organ in of my mouth and begin to admire it with my tongue. My lover begins to run his fingers through my brown hair; it pleases me that he must remember that I always liked him to do this during our lovemaking.

I've never forgotten the taste of Scott Favor. I know that most men must taste like he does but I've never been with anybody but this man now filling my mouth. He was my first and my last and I can well remember this as his fluid begins to pour out more freely and run down my throat...

* * *

"You're shaking," Scott commented as we stepped into his father's bedroom. 

Indeed I was. I looked down at my pale, round tummy and saw it quivering. It reminded me of one of those Jello molds mothers served at house parties. Sensing my shame, my hustler began to caress my trembling flesh in a pleasing way and I leaned back against him.

Bringing his sensuous lips to my large ear, Scott Favor asked me my age and I answered with a voice which mirrored my earlier unsteadiness.

"You're young," he stated. "The youngest I've had come calling for my services. Usually it's men or wives of men who think they are too old to fuck them anymore. Why'd you come to me, Erin?"

"I-I like you," I replied honestly. "The first time I saw you on that street corner I loved you...I wanted you to be my first because I fell in love with you at first sight...I'm not attracted to every single guy I meet...but I was to you. And I knew that I could have you, if only for one night."

He unlocked his hands from their hold around me and slowly came to stand before me. I watched shyly as he began to kneel and pay my thick tummy the attention he had shown it previously with his searching hands with his mouth and tongue now instead. The blood rushed to my face both out of embarrassment and the simple fact that he was turning me on. Sensing my shyness, his right hand snaked around to my buttocks and slipped into my underwear at the back while his left one dipped into the front and the folds between my legs. I bucked instinctively forward as he took my clit between his fingers and started to rub it slowly.

Feeling the pleasure from his touch, I realized that Scott Favor had known exactly what to do to combat my shame. He was using my body as a weapon to fight my natural shyness. By turning to it to make my own physical desire grow it was outweighing any reserve I had previously suffered.

"Unnn...pl...please..." I said, swaying into his touch inside of me, delighting in the pressure growing there.

He licked my round stomach and then cruelly took his fingers out of their hiding place. In unfulfilled need, I looked at them and my own fluid covering their tips.

"I want to see you, remember?" He asked, his hands about my waist. I felt wet on the right side of my back where his fingers which had played with me before now touched my skin.

I leaned into Scott Favor and kissed his naked shoulders and chest, tenderly enjoying the feel of his soft skin against my thin lips. Scott pulled me closer and kissed me with more passion and I responded likewise for he had awakened something bold inside of me.

Our lips still locked, he pulled me toward his father's bed, walking backwards as we kissed each other. I felt the man's tongue inside of my mouth, trying to dance with my own. I did my best to follow its lead. He suddenly spun around and laid me on the bed. I squirmed a bit, still feeling that bit of pressure between my legs, any movement only keeping it alive.

I moaned and Scott Favor looked down into my face. "Hand me a pillow," he ordered and I grabbed one from above my head and gave it to him.

"Lift your ass," he further requested and as I did the boy pushed it under my butt cheeks so that my bottom was propped up. I then understood his reasoning: this helped to make my belly fall forward, allowing for easier access to my genitals. Scott Favor apparently was well acquainted with this knowledge.

With carnal grace, my paid for lover began to slip my underwear off from me, and I felt that same wave of arousal and shame as I saw my puffy, fur covered vulva now fully exposed.

"I'd love to see the old man's face when he gets back and smells his pillow," Favor commented with a large smile spreading across his face.

"Do I smell bad?" I asked, my eyes widening in fear.

"No," Scott answered. "But when I'm finished with you I intend for the pillow to be soaked."

Leaning his head down, I watched and felt simultaneously Scott Favor kiss my hairy hill. He then quickly spread my legs, positioning my legs so that they were bent, the knees pointing upwards at the bedroom ceiling. I felt air on my swollen clit suddenly and a slight sensation of cold liquid spilling from my opening and crevice.

Scott placed his head on level with my now opened legs. "You're so wet," he commented. "Damn it. It's hard to see."

I knew he was referring to my hymen and I was surprised when he stuck out his perfectly pink tongue and started to use it to lap up the liquid obscuring the sight he so desperately wanted to survey. My bud started to throb and twitch from the sensation of the flesh under it being cleansed by Scott's skillful tongue. He worked fast enough aware that what he was doing to me was only likely causing more cream to come gushing out. He used his index finger and thumb to pull apart my labia and looked all too pensive as he studied it. A smile reappeared on his lips suddenly. "I see it," he stated.

Bringing his free hand to my vagina, he gently touched the hymen. "They say each breaks differently," he commented. "It will be my own piece of artwork. You'll carry a Scott Favor original with you wherever you go."

I took a deep breath suddenly and watched as he noticed my reddened clitoris. Once again, the Mayor's son placed his head between my legs and into my crotch. He licked from my perineum to my hole until his tongue lightly grazed my clit.

"Oh...please...just...just..." I was begging, feeling the pressure building to uncomfortable pleasure.

"Since you said please," Scott Favor stated, staring at me, framed by my plump thighs before diving into my labia once more.

One of his hands each rested on my raised knees, grabbing them as his mouth wrapped around my clit.

"Ahhhhunhhh!" I cried out as I felt him sucking furiously and slowly on my grateful bud, alternately rolling his tongue around it and the fluid which had pooled about it.

I started lifting my buttocks off from his father's pillow, thrashing about until I felt the urge to urinate very strongly. I didn't however. Instead my clit started to violently spasm along with my vagina, anus and body. As I lay there convulsing, Scott swiftly moved his mouth to my opening, sticking his tongue in deep so that I was clenching it and no longer nothing.

Afterwards my heart beat furiously and I watched Scott Favor remove his head from out of my parted legs. I saw a string of something, spit or my cream, going from the tip of his tongue to my vaginal opening and I found one more shudder left inside of me. The young hustler cut the bridge made of fluid by a simple licking of his lips.

"The main event next," he announced.

"Can...can I suck you first?" I asked timidly and shyly. "You...you don't have anything?"

Scott looked at me happily. "Nothing at all my sweet lady. But that reminds me...are you on the pill?"

I shook my head.

"I thought not. And I left my condoms out in my pants pocket in the hallway. Want to chance it?"

It was such a stupid question. My periods were erratic because of my weight and anxiety. I should have said no. But there was Scott Favor kneeling before me and looking so beautiful and acting so kind. And my vagina so badly wanted to hold the penis I could easily make out the shape of in his white briefs. 

"I can get the money to handle any accident," he reassured, leaning over me to caress my cheek reassuringly.

I shook my head again and bit my lip. "No. Never that. If there's a baby I'll keep it."

He looked down at me like I was crazy. Then his expression turned to self confidence as he rested his head on my left breast. "When I'm 21 I get my trust fund. I can afford child support for a hundred kids," he boasted and then kissed the exposed part of my breast that peeked out from my bra. It was a long and hungry kiss and I felt my inverted nipple hidden by fabric tingle.

Kneeling again, Scott climbed off of the bed and slipped out of his underwear, displaying his stiff cock. I scooted my rear from off the pillow, feeling that my lover was correct: I had already gotten it wet from my arousal and resulting orgasm.

I took the swollen member in my hand and looked at it again before placing it in my mouth. I treated it with the same treatment I would anything I deemed as tasty and worth savoring. My eyes closed, I heard Scott gasp and felt the penis twitch in the embrace of my mouth.

"N-not bad," he complimented. "But maybe I'll teach you a f-few tricks sometime."

Pleased by the prospect that Scott thought we'd see each other again, I opened my eyes and looked up at him. The cock gave a more forceful spasm as Scott's eyes met mine and he groaned before pushing me off from his angry organ.

"Fuck," he said a little angry himself. "I don't want to come in your mouth, Erin. Not this time. Back on the pillow. I want to come inside of your cunt."

I turned around and climbed back into bed, moving towards my previous spot. He gave my large butt a not unpleasant slap on its way and I then placed it back on Jack Favor's pillow. Soon enough, Scott was between my legs spread wide in invitation. His erection was intimidating and I was frightened about its width compared to that of my vagina's, which was waiting for it impatiently nonetheless.

The hustler hovered over me as he placed his rock hard cock at my entrance but did not go fully in. I felt it brushing against the sensitive skin and shuddered again. Scott turned his attention to my breasts, setting them free from my bra, which he unhooked and threw onto the floor. He studied them and I felt myself blushing again. 

"I've never been that perky," I apologized, still feeling my inverted nipples growing hard just from his gaze.

"It's because they're so huge," he said before starting to touch them. "Look my hands aren't even big enough for them."

He knelt over me then with his hands over my breasts like he was a makeshift bra and I felt my nipples hardening against his palms. I writhed under him. Realizing he was turning me on again, he manipulated my overlarge chest, pinching, rubbing and cupping the snowy mountains until he brought his hands to either of my sides and pushed his head into it.

"Scott!" I exclaimed as he started to suck on my nipples, bringing them out from their hiding places, his waiting cock once again resting at my opening.

He was a very clever boy, biting, licking, sucking and kissing each of my breasts in it's own turn as his penis ran along my crevice. It was a teasing act that I couldn't help but enjoy and delight in. My chest had always been too sensitive to the slightest touch. I felt my labia turning red and opening wider in anticipation as he was driving me senseless with his playing of breasts and nipples. Into his pleasing game he had brought his hands, one coming to play with the opposite mammary while his mouth attended to the other.

"Are...are you coming in...inside soon?" I asked, feeling my bud throbbing again and something close to a river leaking out of me and presumably onto Mr. Favor's pillow.

"You don't like this?" Scott asked taking his lips off my left teat.

I groaned in denial. I was half crazy with sensual bliss but I'm a giver not a taker and I wanted Scott Favor to bury himself deep inside of me before I came again. "I want _you_ ," I managed to say.

"Have me then," he proclaimed as he thrusted inside of me with hardly any hesitation.

I screamed out in pain from the sensation of Scott's organ filling me whole. In a moment of compassion the hustler suckled a nipple again as his hand dipped into my fold to rub my clit, trying to give me more pleasure than pain. I bit my lip and tasted blood. But this was the sensation I had wanted the street hustler to give me so I tried my best to think of it as just another form of ecstasy. Scott took his face from off my white, soft breast and studied me.

"Does it hurt that much?" he asked.

I nodded, bit down on my lip harder and felt tears beginning to fall from my eyes.

The boy rammed his lips into mine and gave a few cautious thrusts. To my shock I felt pleasure from them; strong enough that it overpowered the pain.

"Ohhhh..."

"You like that better huh?"

He pushed inside me again and then back and I screamed out one single word:

"Yes!"

Encouraged, Scott Favor continued his thrusting, returning to kissing my breasts, including my throat and neck also, as I started to writhe beneath him some more, feeling his penis sliding in and out inside of me. My walls held it tightly from inside and suddenly Scott seemed to forget himself and increase his movement in order to feed his own desire. I didn't mind, feeling more arousal by the fact that my lover was now getting something more out of this act than just the $200 I had given to him.

Our cries and breaths mingled and fought as we kissed and grabbed and moved against each other. My fingers dug into the flesh on his back and ass and when one of his thrusts went deeper than before and brought me to the edge, Scott Favor's mouth found mine as if he were a vampire feeding on my climax. My vagina clasped and unclasped his length inside of me. I turned to a weak pile of lumpy flesh beneath him, my heart a drum again, and he came very soon afterwards. I felt with contentment his seed filling my womb and sighed. He kissed me quickly as if in regret he hadn't swallowed it too.

Remaining in me for a minutes after he had been already been spent, I felt our mixed fluids, now my blood included, leaking out from me and soaking the pillow as Scott had prophesied. Pulling out of me, an action which caused its own brief moment of bliss and agony, Scott flipped over on to his side.

We lay in silence for a long time until the taker of my virginity said, "I'd like to see you again, Erin. I think we could have fun. Drop a zero next time; $20 will be fine."

I turned onto my side and hugged the hustler tightly. Kissing his chest, I noticed how he had not even broken into a sweat. As my hand came to rest over his heart, I noticed how it remained virtually calm.

I could barely feel it beating.


	3. Motel Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott Favor asks a question and I recall my limits of what he could and couldn't make me do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be a three chapter story but it became necessary to add one more to it.

I am swallowing Scott Favor's offering. The more I work his cock, now filling my mouth, and concurrently use my hands to play with the balls beneath them, the more his precome easily flows out for me to consume. He's breathing deeply but giving me few other signs to tell me if I am doing a good job or not; Only his leaking penis is telling me that I am pleasing it at all. This is probably just another famous Favor manipulation. If I'm depending on proof from the organ I am currently adoring he believes that will make me try to do more to make its communication clearer. It's working. My tongue is doing its best to keep the cock spilling and slightly throbbing. I move my head farther back so I can take a few moments to concentrate on the glans and opening and this causes Scott to lose his cool for a moment. He moans, a praiseful and aroused sound. I don't let this sudden betrayal of his pleasure effect my work, though. Infact, I show him that compliments have always made me do far better.

I take the penis in deeper until I feel it entering my throat, my lips reaching the base of it. My hands feel the balls in their grip tightening and I know Scott's body is preparing for release. I can't help but let my hands crawl to his back so i can feel his round and beautiful ass, the one I used to kiss on a repeated basis whenever the opportunity presented itself. Scott Favor thrusts down my throat as he comes. When he removes the penis after its final spasm, whatever semen hasn't already gone down my throat I swallow and he strokes my cheek with unexpected affection. The fingers eventually go to my lips and trace them gently before dipping inside where he has just been.

"Are you wet?" he asks me.

I nod. His fingers arrive back at my lips.

"Sucking me off always did that to you," he states in remembrance. "You'd have a small ocean down there when I'd look. Why?"

It's a question he probably wanted to ask all of his clients but now that he is no longer a hustler, and I am warm and pliant beneath him, he can finally give in to his curiosity.

"Because I hoped I made you feel good," I reply. "That turned me on more than anything."

He looks at me like this is what he has always had a problem with and could never completely understand:

How someone could find pleasure in making someone else happy.

* * *

After I first paid Scott Favor for sex that first time we'd met up afterwards on and off for about close to half a year. Never again did he take me to his father's mansion but he knew of places to go where we could fuck. That was what it was to him: a fuck. He'd fuck me and I'd make love to him and it worked out well like that for a while.

I even became quite close with some of the other boys of Bob Pigeon's; Scott allowed me to occassionally hang out with them. Mike was my favorite of the group.

Of course, we were both in love with Scott.

And, of course, neither of us could ever have him.

Mike was a man and I was too big to ever make Scott Favor look good draped across his arm. So we fell in together briefly in the way that people whom share the same affliction often do. But whereas Mike was a close friend with the son of Portland's mayor, I had no clue what I was to him. A distraction? Some kind of experiment? A girl he had something close to affection for? I even thought the man may have viewed me as a younger sister sometimes.

Of course, what we did when we were together was hardly sibling like.

I think I took him off guard by what I was willing to do with him. He didn't quite have me pegged for being as curious as I was and had expected he may need to do some coaxing. There were some things I warned him I would never ever contemplate doing. Pegging held no interest for me. I didn't want to be a guy and emasculating him in any way was appalling to me. Although I didn't mind tying him up now and then. Or him doing the same with me. Rough stuff was okay too. I told him I wasn't homophobic but I knew I was straight and would never do anything with another girl.

"Does it bother you that I fuck other guys?" he asked me once again.

I told him truthfully that it bothered me what he did with anybody who wasn't me but I knew it was just his job.

He had held my chin then and looked into my eyes. "Would you ever be willing to do it for some cash? I know some guys who like fat girls," he asked. I hated his use of the word fat, couldn't tell if it was intentionally meant to hurt me. Often he would use more softer sounding ones like chubby, plump, pudgy or full-figured.

"No," I told him. "I only want _you_."

I'd hugged him in the dirty bed in a strange building we were lying in and he had rubbed the nape of my neck the way I liked. That pretty well informed my hustler that three ways were out for me also.

In a motel pretty soon after that but before our thing, whatever it was, ended, Scott Favor was sitting on the edge of the bed looking like Henry V ascended to the throne. Except Hal had never assumably reined with a fat girl giving him a titty fuck. His legs were spread and I was between them just as his cock was swollen and in between my breasts. I had my period and an act such as this always did it for me on such occasions. I held a large breast in each palm and rubbed them furiously up and down Scott's shaft. When he started to thrust up into my cleavage and I felt my chest becoming wet from his precome, I knew I was doing a good job. Taking the head of the penis I saw bobbing up and down between my pale mounds like some kind of abnormally large worm, popping in and out, I quickly took it in my mouth and began to suckle it.

Scott didn't seem surprised or aroused by my sudden decision. He only kept thrusting, forcing me to move my head into the crevice between my breasts after it. I could feel his balls against my mammaries tighten as he prepared to release.

"On your back, on the bed," he suddenly ordered and I rushed to fulfill the king's commandment, gripping his knees and using them to help me get to my feet.

I flopped onto my back and the hustler sat on my round belly as he started to ejaculate onto my tits and my neck. I felt hot and horny, my cunt and my clit on fire but I didn't dare touch myself to produce climax, just preferring to enjoy the delicious pressure and ache. Scott began to draw in his come now covering my chest. A fingertip grazed a nipple and I took a quick breath, feeling it tingle.

"When I'm twenty-one, I'll buy you a real pearl necklace," he remarked drawing the a line around my neck before teasing my other nipple so it wouldn't feel left out.

I knew in my heart he was just playing pretend. When he turned twenty-one and came into his money, in all likelihood, Scott Favor would disappear from my life and everybody else's. Still, at that moment, I was aroused out of common sense and more importantly I was with the boy I loved even if it was for a short and paid for time that I smiled and touched his face, giggling as I ran my finger down his cheek.

The time got expanded suddenly when Favor announced that he didn't feel like meeting with Bob that night and the others. He turned on the motel's cheap television set and crawled into bed next to me. I placed a chubby arm on his chest lovingly and we watched reruns of television shows long since dead.

It was paradise.

When M*A*S*H came on, Scott started to hum the theme.

"That has words, you know," I stated.

"Does it?" he asked without really caring.

"Yep. Robert Altman, the director of the film wanted stupid lyrics; he didn't think he could write them so he gave them to his fourteen year old son."

"Fathers and their sons," my lover laughed bitterly. "Respect is a no deal thing."

"The lyrics are actually rather poetic," I commented. "I don't know if Michael, the son, thought they were stupid or not...but they beat a lot of stuff then and now. Maybe it was revenge against his dad."

"Right on Mike."

I started to sing "Suicide is Painless" to Scott Favor. When I had finished, the hustler laughed. "Gotta love any fourteen year old that could reference fucking Shakespeare in a song."

"I like the last line 'Suicide is painless, it brings on many changes and I can take or leave it if I please, And you can do the same thing if you please.' Like he's saying go and kill yourself. Kind of adds up to a big _fuck_ you."

Scott Favor laughed again. He rose from his place by my side and went to turn off the television and Adam Alda. He slipped into bed with me again, propped up on his hands so he hovered over me. "I wouldn't mind if you _fucked_ me, Erin," he remarked. "But I'd really like to fuck _you_ this time."

"But I have my..." I started to protest.

"Yeah, so you won't get pregnant," Scott lied. He kissed me passionately and I, my body still too easy to be excited from having been teased previously and aroused by playing with my lover's cock, surrendered willingly, adding to Favor's list one more thing of what I would and wouldn't do.

Afterwards, lying in a mess, I found myself wondering which of us was really the prostitute fulfilling the other's needs; it lead to me pondering, without the hope of an answer, what Scott Favor's need really was in the end since I doubted it was sex. 


	4. Bedroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I recall my parting with Scott Favor in the past as we make love in the present.

Scott leads me to the bedroom where he took my virginity years ago. His hand is holding mine, gently urging me forward. It's a shock how well I have remembered this place, the doors, the walls with their well chosen paintings and the floor below my feet which are slow as if weighed down with memory. The taste of Scott still lingers on my tongue. As I look at the back of the man whom has become my guide, I wonder why he would waste his time on me, a fat, shy insecure girl. He doesn't need the money anymore or to rebel against a father, who is now long dead.

Then Scott turns, looks at me and smiles the way he used to and I know that I am paying him just as much as in the past. I felt that this massive manor was a time machine but for this man the real time machine is my mouth, my hands, my arms, my ass, my pussy or anything else that will have him. I'm paying him in nostalgia and the ability for just a few moments to be young again when he wasn't so heavy with responsibility or the accumulation of time. Mostly everybody during their life falls to the vain desire to return to a time when they were young and free. Or, at least, when the possibilities that lay before them seemed vast and unknown. As that disappears, they yearn for youth and the chance to do it all over again. They forget that the mistakes they made once would probably just be made again.

Alternate realities are fantasy and bullshit. We make the only choices we ever would have.

But right now, Scott Favor does not realize that. He has a girl that paid to make love to him tenderly holding his hand and he knows he can get her to do anything he wants.

Well mostly anything.

* * *

"Where's Scott?" I asked Mike Waters as he sat at the restaurant he and the rest of Bob Pigeon's rent boys usually frequented.

"Off somewhere; who knows," Mike replied.

I flopped down in the seat in the booth across from him and sighed. Getting hold of Scott was becoming increasingly difficult. He was either off with the people that had paid for his company or I feared he was avoiding me. It had been happening for weeks and paranoia had long since grown to the conviction that my time with Scott Favor was slowly fading to nonexistence.

Seeing the pain I couldn't hide from my face, Mike leaned across the table. "He doesn't know any better," he said, half to offer comfort and half in defence of the shared object of our affections.

"Yeah, that's the problem," I countered. "If he did he'd realize what he was doing was wrong and be able to stop himself and never do it again."

Mike looked down at the table with its ketchup and mustard smears, the remnants of his or the last customer's meal.

When a tall, dark haired figure suddenly grabbed me from the side and kissed the top of my head, I jumped only to hear Scott Favor start laughing.

"Jeez, Erin, you sure are jumpy!"

He bestowed another kiss on my brown haired head.

I didn't say anything. Maybe with Scott I had learned to be less shy, and although I was comfortable with Mike, I was still self conscious with the other man being there; especially knowing how he felt for Scott too. 

My paid for lover pushed me further along the seat so he could sit beside me. Wrapping his arms around my large middle, Scott pressed his face into the side of my cheek as Mike averted his gaze. Pity flowed through me for the boy but I also wanted to tell him not to be jealous; it wasn't real and Favor was obviously up to something.

"I gotta go," Waters said and left the booth and I reached out in a vain effort to stop him.

Scott was nuzzling against my cheek and his hand was reaching between my legs and cupping my vulva. I sighed in arousal and annoyance.

"Aren't you going to kiss me?" he whispered into my ear and I didn't know how to reply.

Kissing him meant I might taste mint and be left wondering what he was covering up. My OCD brain would then haunt me with images I wouldn't want to think about. Still my need for Scott Favor's favor and kiss was too strong and our lips met soon enough as his hand cradled my face. I didn't taste mint but that didn't mean my mind wouldn't jump to the next possibility to haunt me with. It was nice though in that moment to get lost in his mouth; his tongue wrestling with my own as they met and refamiliarized themselves with each other.

"I was hoping you'd come around," he said after the kiss was over and he rested his forehead against mine.

I wanted it to be true but you could never tell with Scott.

"Can you meet me outside of where we first met? Tonight around eleven?" he asked.

It was too late. My mom and sister would wonder where I was and I would have to resort to trying to find a listing for a double bill at the theater or a movie with an outrageous running time. I was going to say no but then Scott started to rub the nape of my neck and with his other hand trail a finger from my ear, along the jaw and to the cleft in my chin. My body yearning for more of his skillful touch, I closed my eyes, lowered my head and then nodded as I bit my lower lip.

"Good," he said and kissed me again.

* * *

I left my house early and did go to see the first part of a David Lynch double feature. "Blue Velvet" had found me in the theater seat but "Wild at Heart" would find it empty as I left to meet with the man I had given both my heart and body to. Outside on the corner, the sky dark above and the lies I had told my mother and sister still making me feel guilty, I tried to calm myself with the fact that I would soon be with Scott again. After weeks of only short meetings, I looked forward to making love with him again, my genitals used to it by this point. Waiting on the corner, I was surprised when a fancy limosine pulled up and Scott hopped out of the back seat. It stayed parked at the side of the street.

If it was one of his Johns dropping him off, I hated to be made to witness it and felt humiliated. The truth was even worse, though, I soon found out.

Scott walked towards me and touched my shoulder. Smoothly he turned the motion into an action moving me into the store's entrance, glass show windows on either of our sides. Brown eyes peered down into mine and I think I knew that I was not going to like the words that came out of his mouth before the first one made its arrival.

"Erin, I need you to do something for me."

Need instead _want_. He was already lying to get the desired effect.

"What is it?"

Scott glanced at the parked limo then back at me. He fixed me with a somber stare. "One of my friends

(Johns)

has this brother. He has a thing for big girls...big girls who are willing to do certain _unusual_ things..."

He didn't need to explain exactly what things.

I backed away into one of the windows. My mind tried to discern what had really been happening during my time with Scott Favor. Had he always been priming me for this, so he could turn himself into Bob Pigeon and me into some makeshift version of himself? Or had the opportunity merely arose where he could put the skills he had helped me develop with him to someone else instead?

It was probably that last one I realized sadly.

He had known that I didn't want any other lover except for him. That had been clearly and often stated and implied. Now he was trying to see if he could use my feelings for him in order to manipulate me, though, and betray my morals. And in the process he also betrayed that he had no true feelings for the fat, shy girl whom had been paying him for months to make false love to her.

I made up my mind then, the night breeze blowing my hair and freezing the bare skin on my ears.

I wrapped my arms around Scott's neck and I felt tears flooding and then stinging my eyes for I knew that this was goodbye.

"I love you, Scott Favor," I whispered.

I hadn't said it often, knowing that he couldn't really offer it back without committing a sin by lying. It had been okay then, however, because I knew I was never probably going to see the boy again.

I let him go as quickly as I could so it wouldn't hurt so badly, like ripping off a band-aid, but it hurt like Hell anyway.

"ERIN! ERIN YOU GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!" Scott called out after me.

There was anger in his voice and a little sadness too, I thought. But whether it was because I was leaving or because he had finally lost a game I really couldn't tell.

* * *

The next I had heard Scott was in Idaho with Mike and then Europe. When Waters came back it was by himself and the poor man was heartbroken. I gave him a kiss on the cheek once as I paid for a meal at that same stupid restaurant. "If he gave you up he'll give up anything," I told him. "Pigeon and the rest. You were the one he cared for the most...besides himself."

A few months later, Mike told me I was right. Bob Pigeon was dead and so was Scott's dad and Scott might as well have died too because he had abandoned them all. 

I hated my former lover for that more than what he had done to me. I had been a trick and a few bills; they had been his friends. 

"He's married now from what I heard," Mike had said, playing with the plastic straw in his coke, an addition to another gift of a meal.

"Is he?" I asked, feeling my heart breaking just a little.

"Yep."

That sealed the deal, I had thought. No more Scott Favor inside of me or my life: I had no interest in sleeping with married men without any hearts.

* * *

I stare at the photograph of Carmela Favor in the bedroom she had once shared with her husband. That same husband is kissing my neck as he stands behind me, his hands busily undressing me. She is a beautiful woman. Lovely eyes, gorgeous dark hair and she is perfectly thin. My hand goes to the picture frame to bring the image of Scott Favor's wife closer to my eyes to torment me some more.

"She's really stunning Scott," I compliment past the lump in my throat.

He grabs the object out of my hand and places it face down back on the mantel. "And she's in Europe and you're _here_ ," the man states, reading my mind and aware of my still existent insecurities.

His hands continue their work, giving each now naked breast a fond squeeze, as I stare at the now hidden photo until he takes one of my shoulders in each of his and spins me around to face him and begins to kiss me forcefully. I find myself responding, the heat growing in my groin.

Suddenly he separates from me and looks at my naked body before him. I try to cover myself but he pushes my hands away. "No," he says, stroking my chest and then my belly. "I missed _this_."

"When you had her?" I asked in disbelief, motioning to the photograph.

"A man can like a bit of everything. One doesn't negate the other," Scott reassures as he still pets my round stomach and pulls me in for another kiss.

While I hesitantly return the action, I whimper gently into his mouth as his hand dips into my folds and begins to rub my clitoris. I'm jutting my hips forward, swaying as his hand lowers from the small of my back and starts to trace my ass before fondling each full cheek. 

"Scott," I moan as I feel my bud swelling between his fingers and that pressure deeper inside beginning to become wonderfully full.

His head lowers and his lips are alternately toying with each nipple as I climax from his touch that is everywhere. I rest my chin on the top of his head as I cry out, a loud sound destroying the silence of the quiet bedroom.

"It's been a long time?" he comments as he takes my head in his hands and brings his lips to mine.

"You were my last," I confirm.

"That makes me your _only_ ," he states triumphantly. "You want me in this $5000 dollar suit or out of it?" he inquires.

"How about first in the suit and then after without it," I say hungrily, my hands going to his pants and opening them to pull his once again hardened cock outside. I have always liked a good looking man in an equally fine suit.

"That would be three times," Scott states. "I'm older now, Erin. My stamina isn't what it used to be."

I nod in understanding. I touch the penis lovingly and it weeps into my palm, warranting a moan and shudder from Scott Favor. "Although tonight may be an exception," he retracts his former statement and kisses me again.

Bringing me to the bed, he indicates for me to stay in place as he lies on his back on the middle of the mattress as expensively clothed as Favor himself. His erection is sticking out red, demanding and swollen from his trousers and I know that he wants me to impale myself upon it when he stops positioning himself. Climbing on to him when he stops moving, I happily oblige and gradually lower my plump self on to it, slowly taking him into the place that has been anxiously waiting for its return. 

Scott Favor lies beneath me in his expensive suit as we start to make love after too many years have passed.

As I straddle him, his hands go to my large breasts and he behins to play with them lustily, all the while thrusting his hips forward into my cunt. I'm trying not to cry as I move my own butt up and down, sliding his appreciative cock back and forth inside of my canal. It glides more and more easier the wetter I am becoming. He manages to hit without effort that spot that is aching in its wonderful way and is forever grateful to be once more caressed by Scott Favor's cock deep inside of me. His hands reach around and start to cup and caress my buttocks and plump thighs as we continue to pump and grind.

Cries start coming out of my mouth and I wonder what any staff would think if they rushed inside to find their fully clothed and wonderfully attired master being ridden by a fat girl that has lost control in her ecstasy. I'm frantically moving about when I orgasm and I feel Scott simultaneously ejaculating into my womb.

Tears are falling down my cheeks and I bite my bottom lip because it feels so good to receive his gift of come between my legs after so long. 

Reluctantly, I release Scott's spent penis and flop on to the mattress beside him. My hands desperately pull the shirt out of his pants and crawl under it to his skin. He rolls over and brushes my lips with his. "I haven't been with anybody since Carmela left," he informs me and I'm shocked at his words for they make him vulnerable. "Sex...I sold it but it's never meant all that much to me."

It's a confession he probably never made to his other clients. Selling the image of desire was integral for a hustler; they were paid to make the client believe that they wanted them but it was rarely true. Lying on his back, with me by his side and his wife having left him, I guess, Scott feels it's time the words finally were muttered.

I kiss his forehead softly.

I start to undress him but not for the purpose of sex. Having said words that have made him more naked than the simple exposure of skin I sense he doesn't mind. I merely want to lie with this man as innocent as when we were first born. His clothing is getting in the way now. Scott Favor lies on his back staring at the ceiling as I unbutton his dress shirt. Whenever I need him to move to remove an article of clothing, the jacket, shirt, pants or anything else, I never need to ask. He just does it as if it is a robotic action.

Now both naked, I lie down on my side beside him and he spoons beside me. It's innocent even though I am completely aware of his member and balls presses against my ass and thighs. They are just a part of his body now and I love them because they are a part of him. I fall asleep for a bit but when I awaken it is because I feel a hand on my face again as Scott is turning it, waking me from my slumber to kiss me wholeheartedly. His organ is awake now too and we smoothly move so that I am on my back as Scott lies over me.

I watch as he grabs the pillow which had formerly been under his head and places it under my butt.

"It's your pillow now," I comment still drowsy but getting turned on as my legs are spread and my labia opens in display to him. "Do you mind if we get it messed up?"

Answering my question, Scott places his head between my legs and begins to taste me. His tongue rams up my cunt and I wonder if he can taste himself in there as he rolls it around. Finished in its revolution it runs up to my clit and flicks it a few times before wrapping his lips around it and starts to slowly suckle it. Small sounds of pleasure escaping from my mouth this whole time, reflexively, I roll my hips until I climax again.

In a swift motion, he's between my legs, his engorged cock brushing my dripping wet entrance. His lips find mine again and I taste myself now on his tongue as he pushes inside. We take up our familiar rhythm of love effortlessly and I'm surprised at how gentle he suddenly is and how tender yet passionate it is this time as opposed to the last. His lips are all over my breasts and face and when I cry out again, my vagina clenching and unclenching the lengthened penis in its grip, Scott's face is nestled between my breasts. That is where it returns after the testicles have tightened and then shot out the man's seed sweetly into me.

I kiss the top of his panting head as he lies on top of me, he finds my lips with his own before returning to my chest, and we fall asleep like that, my hands on his sweat covered back and drawing circles in the moisture with my fingertips.

* * *

The sun wakes me before Scott does. He's still sleeping and as I stare at his blank face I remember my long ago belief that I would never let Scott Favor back inside of me. It was make believe; I can feel easily where I am now empty and sore from last night's surrender. Touching the hair having fallen in front of my lover's face, I realize that he succeeded, afterall, in making me into a prostitute: 

I have sold my beliefs and morals out of my love for this man.

He wakes as he hears me getting out of bed. "Erin," he asks dazedly. "What are you doing?"

"Going home," I reply swinging my thick thighs over the bed.

"But why?" Scott asks in confusion. "Carmela is a million miles away. It's over. You can stay here as long as you want."

He reaches for my hand and I take it away before his skin contacts mine, standing up to gather my clothing, lying by the mantel.

"You're still married. And I...I hate what you did to Mike and Pigeon and everybody else. You just left them without looking back. You abandoned them. Even if you never did that to me...what type of woman would I be to just forget or ignore that?"

I'm bending over picking up my clothes as he runs towards me and touches my shoulders. Scared, I run out into the corridor, my hands filled with clothing. They drop onto the runner as Scott Favor grabs me from behind and we struggle, limbs flailing, both still naked.

"Let me go!" I scream out at the same level as my repeated orgasms the night before.

The man doesn't, though. He brings me to the wood panelled wall and pushes me against it. There is a look of sheer anger in his eyes and I hate myself secretly for believing that Scott hates me until he speaks and I know whom it is that Scott truly hates.

Himself.

"YOU HATE ME!" he screams at me as he holds me against the wall. "STAND IN LINE! DON'T YOU THINK I FUCKING WELL HATE MYSELF? DON'T YOU THINK I REGRET WHAT I DID EVERY DAY OF MY FUCKING LIFE SINCE? I MISS THEM AND I MISS ME BUT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO! THEY'RE GONE AND SO AM I!"

His face so close to mine that I can feel his breath and feel the spit flying from his mouth, I can see clearly now that while the sword of time did not hurt Scott in the beginning it has now worked its way in deeper and I dread to think of the toll it will have taken on him in a few more years. When those we have wounded have died or are all scattered and we cannot make recompense regret can consume us and become a room that imprisons us and that can never be left. I know now that Scott wasn't just trying to regain his youth last night; he was trying to earn my forgiveness by the only act he ever felt confident in when we had known each other.

He let's me go suddenly and turns around. I watch in horror as he falls to the floor, his legs under him as if he is about to pray.

I don't know what to do. I guess, among all of my hatred for Scott Favor I forgot that he was only human and that we are each punished for our sins in time. Be it sooner or later.

Now I know what I can do though.

I go to him and kneel by his side, wrapping my large arms around the wide shoulders I always loved. They start to shake in my embrace, slowly at the start and then violently. I want to whisper into his ears that it's okay but not knowing if it is, I merely keep holding him, hoping that he may realize that if I can forgive him the others would also.

And maybe, one day, Scott Favor will be able to forgive himself too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My thanks to Michael B. Altman who helped me immeasurably with this fic without knowing or intending to. :/


End file.
